fanfare

last saturday todd tested for his black belt in taekwondo. to say i was proud is an understatement. the full swell of pride was only tempered by the emotional surge i had the night before, when i watched his last class before the pivotal exam, and was brought to tears by the magnitude of change i saw.

i've been taking him to martial arts classes for years now. and i've watched him work his way up through the colored belts with little more than memory and basic technique mastery. the fact that the master instructor handed me the application for black belt a few months ago for todd was both surprising and worrisome. even in my maternally biased opinion, i didn't see how he could go from where he was to black belt over three months. sure, he knew the techniques, but his literal technique was lacking that special oomph i saw in the black belts of the academy. his focus and his power, they left much to be desired.

but on the advice of master ji i enrolled him in the additional, time-consuming and expensive, course that was required in advance of examination. unlike the colored belt tests which are held every two months, the black belt test is only offered twice a year. hence the readiness training had a sense of urgency on top of the pressure of the penultimate evaluation in martial arts. i took him to every scheduled class, driving 50 miles round trip for each one. and he forewent school dances, dinner invitations and all else social on thursday and friday nights for almost three months.

during these classes, i would take care of errands. go for a run at the nearby park. read and/or nap in the car. very rarely did i sit in the uncomfortable chairs at the academy and watch. so when i did, on the last night of his training, i was met with that strangely alarming feeling parents occasionally get when they see their growing child after an extended absence and they look suddenly taller and more mature.

seemingly overnight, although literally anything but, todd grew into his black belt. crisp, powerful motions. textbook stances. and a serious countenance that honestly looked foreign to me. i really did wipe away tears.

at his colored belt tests he always struggled most with the board breaking. his casual approach to technique didn't give adequate power when met with wooden resistance. he told me that was the only thing he was worried about for the black belt exam day. but when the time came to break boards, his foot went through them like they were holding wet noodles.

*applause*

this summer when todd performed at band camp i was overcome with pride. it was perhaps the fullest my heart had ever been with parental pride. luke noticed. he also noticed how much fun todd had there that week, it was evident in his non-stop chatter on the way home. luke made an off-hand remark that the trumpet looked like it may be fun to play and i wasted no time in obtaining an instrument and a private instructor.

when i gave it to him, he said, 'oh, i wasn't sure i really wanted to play..' but i said, 'just give it a try, you might like it..' the elementary school he transferred to in town starts children in third grade for band (third grade!) so he was a couple years behind his classmates. the school band director said he needed basic instrument and music reading skills before he could join his peers, so unbeknownst to luke, i set him on a course to join the band mid-year.

before his first few lessons and at every directive to 'go practice trumpet' i heard a litany of complaints ranging from 'i'm just not a band kid' to 'it's dumb'. i held firm that i'd rented the instrument for a school year (not really true) and that he couldn't quit until the contract was up and he tried the school band (my decision). he believed me, i think; and then i started to see him turn a corner.

his affection for his private instructor, which started with healthy skepticism and migrated through curiosity, has settled into real admiration. the instructor told me about a month ago that luke should be ready to join the band and so i contacted the school band director. but no sooner did i make that contact than all of luke's confidence evaporated. i agreed to delay it until he felt ready.

last week the school band played their holiday concert and luke attended with a friend. he came home intent on joining not only the regular band, but also the jazz band, as soon as possible. this week, he met with the band director before school on the last day before the holiday; played his scales and his latest mastered song. the director said, 'Perfecto!' and welcomed him into the band. luke immediately asked about jazz band and is joining that in january, after the holidays, as well.

*applause*

he told me at dinner that night that it was the proudest he's ever been of himself. i could relate. just in this week alone, my two sons have made me the proudest mom i've ever been.

d: may they feel the love contained in my pride
b: i pushed the right buttons at the right times
g: a budding musician and an accomplished martial artist