blue

went and saw blue valentine tonight. what a bummer. tremendous acting and writing. but heartbreaking.

i think because it seems so real. so believable. and so scary.

here i am on the precipice of making a lifelong commitment and in every way certain of my intention and love and at the same time shoveling the earth off a buried dinosaur egg in my own personality and uncertain how to pry it loose and scared that i can't and feeling so much like damaged goods and unable to be deserving of the love and commitment i'm receiving.

and blue valentine didn't help.

d: a better me
b: writing it down, letting it go
g: i am loved