therefore

If a picture is worth a thousand words, a metaphor is worth a thousand pictures.

i recently fell in love with this slant on the oft used root expression.  i think in metaphors.  i really do.  it exasperates some people in my life, those assuming i'm questioning their ability to follow a literal thought.  others tolerate it, but immediately summarize my literary visual with their interpretation.  so, you're pissed/sad/tired/hurt? 

they remind me of my least favorite math course in college, number theory.  it's unfair to term it math, because it was an exercise in mind-bending that required shifting the literal to the abstract in every way, abandoning the very thing i love about math:  the finite absoluteness.  but what's brought to mind is the last line of work that completed a number theory 'problem' (generally, a proof of some sort).  at the end of a grueling iterative process, the proof would be concluded with three little dots in a triangle, representing the word therefore.  and then some brilliant conclusion was made.  nine times out of ten, the conclusion was exactly what you started with.  (and that 10th time, i probably did it wrong.)  all the work, all the effort, all the creative thinking reduced to a simple therefore...and suddenly you're right back where you started.

and in math, i'm ok with that.  i say, skip the proof and accept the theorem.  but in personal expression, i cannot abide the therefore.  i would, if i could.  truly, it would make communication so much simpler sometimes.  but when my mind wanders to the abstract, to the emotive, to the philosophical, the words it chooses are all nouns and verbs and concepts are all expressed in scenes and stories.

it's a puzzle to me as to whether it's due to an abundance or a lack of verbal expression.
i can't find the words to describe the abstract feelings or thoughts, so i turn to literal objects or experiences in metaphor.  that would be a lack.  
my abstract thoughts and feelings generate elaborate stories and pictures though, which i share as metaphors.  that would be abundance.

but i digress.  i didn't intend to write four paragraphs on my metaphor factory.  i have a running list on my phone of thoughts i want to blog on and when i opened it, i laughed at my cryptic metaphors and was struck by the realization it's my language.

yesterday, someone reminded me of the value in transparency.  Transparency and honesty. Just aim for that.  You've seen what havoc and hurt it creates when you don't.  and so today, while i yearn to reenter my world of words through a metaphor, i am instead remaining literal. 

although, or perhaps because, it comes most naturally in my personal expression, my writing here often leans on metaphor.  instead of revelatory, though it feels that way at times, it appears more often as a shroud.. of secrecy, privacy, or even shame.  i recognize that and while i won't even attempt to abandon my language, i will try to add a few more therefores.  after all, that clarity is what i'm seeking in the first place.

d:  clarifying metaphors easily therefore'd
b:  a language to express myself with, rich in images and symbolism
g:  a gentle reminder of the importance in setting it aside and simply being seen