kite

a few years ago i became utterly obsessed with astrology.  for a couple years i studied it intensely, working with a mentor and poring over the natal charts of everyone i knew.  (and some i didn't.)  i had always known that i typified my piscean sun sign; ever awash in emotion and its continual motion.  but one of the things i learned about my chart, and immediately recognized in my life, is the dominant configuration of nearly all the celestial bodies in my chart (8 of 11) in what's called a grand trine.  well, several grand trines overlapping in fact.  

what does that mean?  literally it means that there are at least 3 planets in a equilateral, triangular configuration, 120 degrees between each.  but more importantly, it's an insulating configuration.  allows for easy energy flow between the planets involved and among the houses of the chart involved.  which, admittedly, probably still doesn't mean much to most people.  but when i say insulating  i do mean exactly what i say.  grand trines tend to protect people from the struggle that their psychological urges, in their respective signs and houses, would otherwise present.  grand trine people tend to coast a little bit.  some are described as lucky or seen as inexplicably oblivious or resilient to the hardships they encounter.

when this dynamic was explained to me for the first time, i didn't make much of it.  set it aside and let it marinate.  and then, as astrology is wont to do, it started to make sense.  i began to see the cushioning effect in my life.  the absence of concern or worry, even when perhaps i should; my inability to hold on to details, particularly of painful experiences; and a pervasive sense that everything will work out, even when it's clearly falling apart.  

the grand trine often suggests a lackadaisical or laissez-faire approach; and despite all of my intensity, i admit, i paradoxically have the market cornered on laissez-faire.  lackadaisical, not so much.  lackadaisical is defined as 'lacking enthusiasm or determination' and 'carelessly lazy.'  when i relayed my disagreement to my astrology mentor, it presented him with a teachable moment.  one of my grand trines, it turns out, is actually a 'kite.' meaning there's an extra planet involved, creating a kite-like shape (go figure).. and he told me the significance is that it 'provides a way out of the trine.'  

if you're as lost as i was, perhaps this will help.  imagine, if you will, a napkin blowing off a picnic table...caught in the breeze and wafting easily and aimlessly (read: lackadaisical) wherever the wind may blow.  now, imagine on the same windy day, at the same picnic, that you brought along a kite.  and as you lift it aloft to the breeze it takes flight, dipping and soaring at your command.  why?  

sure, you may find the immediate flaw in my illustration as a napkin isn't designed to fly and a kite is; or a napkin is untethered for control and a kite is attached to a string.  but a simple lesson in aerodynamics will direct you to the importance of resistance.  the tail provides drag and the wind  provides lift and together they create flight.  

over the past couple years, my heart has been broken repeatedly and regularly by the news of systemic racism taking another life in our country, too often at the hands of those we employ and entrust with our safety.  but over and over, i expect the headline to be the last of its kind.  over and over, i expect our predominantly white government to step up and recognize the injustice, with remorse, restitution, and remedy.  i cannot relate in any way to the victims or the perpetrators and it's unimaginable to me how such prejudice and hate exist at all.  

for all the benefit of my protective grand trines, i hold them equally at fault for my naivete and hopeful optimism on this matter.  

but not any more.  last friday todd and i joined nearly ten thousand protesters in the streets of downtown atlanta to march for racial justice.  headstrong into the winds of ignorance, denial, and fear, together we attempted to create some drag.

interviewed on the news, yep.  probably because i was white.  

on a personal level, it was moving: sobering and empowering all at once.  i felt immensely powerful and, simultaneously, a very small part in what necessarily must be an enormous movement.  it was both heartbreaking and heart-lifting. i felt such a bond and commonality with those around me and yet more disconnected and dismayed at those who stood idly by.  

the paradox of these emotions, swirling and clashing all at once, left me drained.  i retreated over the weekend into my grand trines, insulated and protected.  and then it hit me.  like a kite to the forehead.  

wind resistance..perpendicular force..lift 

the resistance of a tail in tow..drag

together: flight.  

d: i never lose my tail

b: flight via fight

g: kite to the forehead