dabble

when i was a kid i wanted to try everything. and to the best of their ability, they obliged me. i took violin lessons, piano lessons, played basketball, took gymnastics and ballet, participated in a musical production, sang in the school chorus, competed with quiz bowl, odyssey of the mind, and math counts (yeah, i was a nerd. so what?), and a million other things.

one time each.

meaning, i dabbled and never dove. and some things i wanted to do, i never tried. after all, there were only so many days in the week and dollars in the bank. i've often said that i regretted not being forced to persevere with something, for mastery. or even just accomplishment.

and now, as a parent, i am confronted with this same dilemma. how hard to push and how much to offer. tonight haley and i went to an amazing concert. imogen heap. an artist i knew little about, previously. and while i sat in the second balcony, in utter amazement at the talent and production, i wished the boys were there.

my mind wandered and i remembered longing to act on a stage myself - luke's dream. and i watched the massive percussion ensemble in this band and thought of todd and his ambivalence toward his drumming. i've always loved the production aspects of stage, tv, film, music and in my line of work have had the opportunity to be involved in many of these. as such, the complexity and sophistication of the stage show caught my attention. reminded me of my brother. made me want to go to new york. made me want to take the boys there. my mind raced.

how hard do i push? how much do i offer? do the two cancel each other out?

moving into the city affords me so many opportunities for their exposure. i feel overwhelmed with the desire to show it all to them. perhaps what my own parents thought.

d: the push/offer balance
b: i'm creating more opportunities to balance
g: a lifetime of dabbling