center

today haley asked me if i miss my old house and without hesitation i replied, 'no.' then i felt a quick pang of guilt and sadness, as if i should feel differently. but when i walk around that large, empty house and remember how easily we all fit there i don't feel any longing. i simply feel grateful that it was mine for a spell and now it's not.

and when i walk through the door to our new house on yorkshire, i also feel grateful. i feel grateful that this precious little house is ours. that it's quite quickly transforming into a home that i feel comfortable and represented in. that it's absolutely large enough for all of us to spend time, both together and separately. and even, paradoxically, that it's not mine. as in, i don't own it. so if the pipes burst or the hot water heater gives out - it's only an inconvenience, rather than a costly chore.

but without a doubt the part that is overwhelmingly perfect about our new home is the location. and i don't mean the fact that i have a publix, kroger, trader joe's and whole foods all within five minutes. (though that's a treat, i have to admit.) and i don't mean the fact that i'm perfectly central to everything i spend my time doing and much of it i can get to on foot. (and of course bike! when i'm haley-cleared to do so.)

rather..since the move, i no longer feel as though i live in two places. i no longer feel transient or caught in between. i no longer feel that i can never be where i need to be - enough. instead, i feel absolutely perfectly central. and centered.

and in the very natural way that everything has happened between haley and i over the past year and a half, she's found herself quite centered too. here. i marvel at how we spent as many days and nights together as we did living 40 minutes apart, it truly is testimony to our passionate commitment. but i'll take that testimony in other ways now, thank you very much, because the ease with which we've merged into the yorkie house has been absolutely blissful.

she's still got her house, of course. she owns it and has no plans to change that any time soon. but every day we settle in more and more, and every day the yorkie house becomes more our home than mine.

and for that, i am grateful.

d: more centering, more nesting, more rugs
b: in just the right timing, we found our center
g: home, where the heart is, centered.