i can't tell you how many times i've heard women's bodies described by terms like 'swimmer's body', 'gymnast's body', 'runner's body', etc. each conjuring a fairly distinct image with certain characteristics, none of which fit me.
the ideal i've always longed for though, as long as i can remember was the body of a dancer. a ballerina, to be exact. long thin lines. graceful and strong. light on my feet and perfectly poised. those of you who know me are undoubtedly laughing your ass off. coincidentally the very activity that would benefit me the most, because my body is much more suited to booty-shaking than toe-pointing.
no, my body doesn't fit a fitness stereotype. i know, i know, most people's don't. but it doesn't match up with my own fitness ideal either. and tonight i'm struggling with where to take that knowledge. either i can accept that fact and change my ideal or i can (continue to) set my sights on an ideal that seems woefully out of reach. perhaps it sounds as though i think one is clearly the 'right answer', but actually no.
i'm stumped.
i don't give up easily and i don't let go of a fantasy without a fight, so holding onto the dream of a slim, lithe dancer's physique despite a lifetime to the contrary..well, why stop now?
tonight i went to ballet class. my first in three decades. i can't say that the full wall of mirrors helped me with my internal dialogue, but something about the simplicity and beauty of the routines was mildly distracting.
and so, i cling.
d: deal with the ideal already
b: strong calves, proven
g: distracted by dance
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