downhill

i took a backpacking course in college, my very first semester.  i was one of two women in the class, with ten guys.  it was serendipity that my female classmate and i were also connected through mutual friends/family and were assigned rooms across the hall; and, unsurprisingly, marla became one of my very closest friends and a constant companion.  this was years before we all had pedometers and microcomputers on our person at all times, but had we, i'm certain it would document hundreds of miles together on foot, backpacking and hiking through the blue ridge mountains of western north carolina.  

Discovery 1994, Day One

after our sophomore year, marla and i both registered for a three-week wilderness course offered by the outdoor education department.  it was a rite of passage at our college, marketed as a 'transformative experience,' provoked by the emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual challenges faced in the process.  (for what it's worth, it delivered on that promise for me in 1994 and continues to run annually each and every summer.  2018 will be the 42nd class of discovery.)  i couldn't have imagined doing it without her. 

when backpacking on mountain trails, you pay close attention to the squiggly lines on your topographic map that indicate elevation, fingers crossed that your route crosses widely spaced lines, suggesting gradual ascents and descents.  but when the lines narrow, your scrutiny intensifies, for these represent the steepest terrain.  and when the mountain is tall, the path you take matters a lot.  

Discovery terrain

we learned to read the topographic clues well.  we looked at the position of the peak relative to the sun to determine the shade.  we looked at the length and frequency of switchbacks to gauge intensity and boredom.  we assessed total distance and factored in elevation change.  but most of all, the question we cared the absolute most about was 'up or down?' 

in that very first backpacking course, i recall my skepticism when our instructor told us that downhills are harder than uphills.  he explained it with a thorough discussion of proper rest-step technique for ascents and the benefit of switchback design contrasted with the continuous muscle contraction necessary for descending an incline with a load on your back and the compounded stress on joints.  not to mention, unless a body of water awaits, a valley is never as appealing as a summit.  but still i didn't believe it until i experienced it. 

discovery has been on my mind a lot lately.  though i'm not fool enough to compare it to cadet basic training, i do recall the isolation and emotional and mental struggle of the group dynamic paired with the physical challenge of three weeks of wilderness expedition (despite having my best friend suffering alongside).  i've tried to share with luke the tidbits of wisdom that have stuck with me and i hope he's taken heed.  but most of all, i keep coming back to the lesson of the downhill.

Discovery 1994, considerably later

sunday marked the midway point of luke's beast training.  it was punctuated with a lengthy phone call home, most of which was via facetime, allowing us to see each other.  this may be the most highly anticipated milestone of the six week training and it delivered fully.  leisurely, unsupervised, and candid.  for the first time, i felt as if all my questions were answered and we had caught up.  i knew where luke was mentally, physically, and emotionally at this very moment in time. 

what i hadn't anticipated was the heaviness i would feel on the other side.  despite this being the downhill, despite the confidence in his success, despite the increased familiarity with the rhythm, monday was hard.  the ache was more pronounced, the weight of what luke unloaded heavy upon me, and the absolute clarity about how long is left and how long it will feel is anything but easier.  

four days later i have my head down, one foot in front of the other, leaning on those around me and those who have gone before me.  and remembering the lesson of the downhill.  it's supposed to be harder.  it calls for careful steps, strong core, a sense of humor, and good conversation.  

d:  strength and steadiness
b:  discovery lessons passed down
g:  friendships forged in footsteps