independence-s

here i am three days after leaving luke at west point, two days after delivering todd to his girlfriend for a week in philadelphia, and a day after the 4th of july.  independence day seems to be a theme.  i dressed for the occasion:  may as well own this shit, i thought.  

back at work today my head was in the clouds.  working through several days of email backlog and trying to set up priorities, tasks i can usually do in a flash, felt like trudging through waist high mud.  one. laborious. step. at. a. time.  thankful for that small voice in my head reassuring me that tomorrow is friday and then a weekend to reset awaits. 

i find myself checking my phone regularly and habitually, expecting to see a message from luke, but then remembering.  

i find myself a bit tentative with decisions that i'd usually consult him on, like what meals to select for next week's dinners.  

and i have a running monologue of funny and/or useful things that i'd typically say to him at the end of the day or in one of the many conversations we had throughout the day.  it's these little ways that i miss him most.  

but, juxtaposed beside those tiny moments, or perhaps overshadowing those tiny moments like an umbrella, is a fierce pride and optimism about our individual independences.  

d:  celebration of independence

b:  i am ready 

g:  a timely holiday cutting the week short