cyclone

ugh. it's a nasty cycle this female thing. and i have the misfortune of being on the three week version, rather than the typical four. which means that two out of every three weeks, which is a lot, my hormones have me mostly insane: a cyclone of emotions.

[sidenote: somehow in my house-for-sale organization frenzy i put my vitamins out of sight and so i've fallen off the supplement bandwagon. they really were helping for a few months there. i've got to get them out from under the counter and put them back into my routine. really. i need all the help i can get.]

when i feel like this everything is too much. everything is too hard. too complicated. too much. and i feel horrible about myself. and then i do things that make me feel even more horrible about myself. like snapping at the boys. or eating three brownies. or just generally being a big baby. and did i mention feeling awful about myself? yeah. that's the worst of it.

a cyclone.

i'm exhausted. the bike fiasco continued today. and though we did finally get four bikes, in working condition, on the silver comet trail; it sort of felt like much ado about nothing. flat, paved trail is anticlimactic with my new off-road monster machine. we followed that by an hour or so on the tennis court. (thank god. that's the only part of my day that i felt good about.) and then i cooked dinner. boys to bed. and now, here i sit. eyes propped open, typing. haley drawing beside me. wishing i could trade bodies with anyone to get out of the storm. (not to mention i have some body upgrades i wouldn't mind getting in a trade. and let's just say, the brownies aren't getting me any closer.)

d: a new day. a fresh batch of serotonin. an offer on the house. a direct deposit on any one of my three outstanding invoices. (better stop there..)
b: tennis. felt. great.
g: spring break is over tomorrow. just in time.