hope

The lowest ebb is the turn of the tide.
~henry wadsworth longfellow

funny, i saw this necklace a month or so ago on on the website of one of my favorite jewelry designers. and i fell in love with it a little. the words spoke to me, although i definitely didn't consider myself at that lowest ebb then.

i'm a water sign and i definitely own that. i flow up and down and swirl around and ride the waves and crash on the shore and all of those liquidy metaphors. they all apply. so maybe that's one reason this resonated with me. but certainly another is the promise of something better.

i'm an eternal optimist. hopeful against all odds. mom has always said i'm fantastic. as in, living in a fantasy. that's a mom'ism for delusional, i suspect.

and today i find things ebbing. i learned today that my position is being eliminated. there are new ones in my group for which i can apply and i intend to. but.. i am scared. i am sad. the tide is low.

i'm waiting for my fantastic self to kick in. still feeling kicked though. i'm waiting for my half-full glass to appear. still feeling quite empty though. i'm waiting for my rose colored glasses to change my outlook. still looking pretty dark though.

i've been asking for a new opportunity. i've been asking for something better. i've been asking for a change. and now i'm getting what i asked for.

i placed myself in the flow. i must remain there and trust that the tide will come in. it always does.

d: peace and patience as the tide turns.
b: ironically, today i was highly complimented on the afore-mentioned heinous beverage project (see: sunshine), by the big boss.
g: the new opportunity. whatever it may be.