tears

tonight in a closet cleaning craze, i happened across an ann taylor shopping bag with two cardboard boxes inside. the ribbon handles were tied into a tight knot and i didn't recognize either the bag (ann taylor not being on my shopping circuit generally) or the boxes within.

i wrested the ribbons untied and extracted an old shirt box, filled to the brim with cards and letters from 1987. give or take a year. the mail was stamped with 22 cent stamps and mostly from my mother, in arkansas, to me, in savannah.

i was 12 and i'd just moved away to live with my dad.
every letter started with 'you don't know how much i miss you...' and ended with the same.
i slumped into the floor of my closet and reread every word.
and cried.
and cried.

todd is 12.
i can only imagine the heartbreak i'd feel if he moved twelve hours away.
but imagining is enough to break my heart.

d: less unexpected time capsules as i pack closets and cabinets.
b: i stumbled across just what i needed, right when i needed it.
g: there is healing in tears. or so i hear.