neighborhood

i've spent quite a number of hours over the past two days erasing the dirt and grime from my driveway and porches. i opted not to pay someone for the task of pressure washing and now that it's all said and done, i'm ambivalent about whether that was the right decision or not.

i think, for the most part, it was. it saved me over $200 and cost me only time, the flesh of my hands, a few gallons of gasoline, the ache in my upper back (a workout!), and whatever running my water for 8 hours continuously will do to my utilities. i suppose it would have cost the latter regardless.

one of my friends told me that she enjoyed doing this, when she'd done it in the past. something about it being satisfying because of the immediate gratification. and i could relate to that. and it made the task bearable - though i wouldn't go so far as enjoyable. for the first hour, at least.

by then, all the obvious metaphors had flitted through my head and all i could think about was 'why? why, is this necessary?' and 'will it really make my house sell faster?' because if not, i don't really mind grey concrete. i really don't.

and of course, once you've begun, the answer becomes just that. where the grey concrete may have been just fine, an hour ago, now the line between clean and yet-to-clean is all you can see; and leaving it half undone would be more offensive.

i thought a lot about my neighborhood while i was cleaning the past eight years of grime off my driveway. there are only 59 houses in the subdivision and i had the pleasure of walking through nearly all of them before they were complete. my house was in the first ten built. i even worked briefly in the sales office over a holiday, assisting the primary agent. we'd become friends in the process of building my house and so we had fun choosing paint and brick and kitchen color schemes for the spec houses.

when i was cleaning my junk drawer out in the kitchen (truly, this house has been turned inside out in the past few weeks) i found a neighborhood schematic where i'd written notes about each of the owners as i met them. and for the first year or so, while everyone was under construction and in the excited and stressful throes of correcting the countless mistakes made by sloppy contractors, we all were quite neighborly. commiserating and celebrating together.

most of the homes were purchased by young families. my boys were some of the older children in the first phase of the neighborhood, and they were only 3 and 5. all of the kids played together in the streets, any minute the sun was shining. perhaps that's another reason we all behaved so neighborly.

but at some point, the doors all closed. strange, unneighborly things started to happen.

for example, my boys were told by two of their favorite playmates that they couldn't come over to our house any more because their parents didn't approve of gay people. i confronted the childrens' mother when i next saw her walking her dog and she, quite embarrassed, stammered out, 'yeah, well.. we don't approve of that sort of lifestyle.' i pointed out that it wasn't anything that would affect her children - similar ages to the boys; 'it's not contagious.' and while i was at it, i added that i didn't really approve of all the mounted deer heads her husband has hanging in her home, but i still let the boys go there to play.

one neighbor who had built a tall privacy fence in her backyard complained to me that my cat would walk along the top of it. she said, 'can you keep your cat off my fence?' i said, 'sure, i'll talk to him.' umm, ok. i know he's fat, but he's not going to hurt your precious fence.

a few years later when i got sick and spent most of a summer either in the hospital or recovering, my grass grew a few inches too tall. i got a reminder from the homeowner's association to remedy it. i replied immediately, by email, explaining my near fatal medical crisis and resulting circumstance and that as soon as i was either physically or financially able, i would take care of it. i did not receive a response, so i resent it to a neighbor i knew personally that was also on the board. still no reply. but i didn't receive any further notices about my lawn either.

some time later.. maybe six months.. i was at a nearby store and ran into a neighbor that i hadn't seen in a year or more. she said, 'oh, how are you? i heard you were sick...'

i guess they did receive my email after all. and shared it with the neighborhood.

yes, the doors were decidedly closed i realized then. it was nothing like mockingbird hill i lived on when i was a kid. if my mom needed an extra egg or we ran out of honey i was sent to a neighbor's house to borrow it. and it was the most ordinary thing ever.

sidenote: i'll say that i've met a few of the people in the second phase here and they are different. there are a few neighbors that are actually neighborly.

i won't be sad to leave this subdivision when we move. there are comforts of the house i'll certainly miss, but i look forward to a community where community is the rule rather than the exception. it will be one of my very top neighborhood criteria.

d: sure, you can borrow a cup of sugar.
b: for once, i'm in the good graces of the homeowner's association with the cleanest driveway in embassy walk.
g: tuesday is the end of the month and my house is 99% ready for sale. right on time.