bff

For they had lived together long enough to know
that love was always love, anytime and anyplace,
but it was more solid the closer it came to death.

~excerpted from Love in the Time of Cholera by gabriel garcia marquez

there is nothing more certain than the uncertainty of our lives. it's been nearly two years since i was confronted with that and as i come up on the 'anniversary' of it, i am reminded of my fragility. and my strength.

when i am asked what i learned from that experience, and i'm asked often, i always reply that i learned what my relationships were made of. and it was sad. i felt in many ways that not only had my body disappointed and betrayed me, but also the people i loved and relied on.

i wept.
i redefined.
i said good-byes.
and i forgave...

as my lungs healed, so did some of my relationships. the most important one, at least. jackie.

she's as much as sister to me as i'll ever have and our friendship since childhood has carried us through death, divorce, childbirth, heartbreak, disease and every triumph in between. of which there have been too many to count.

as she's confronted with a medical unknown of her own, i can feel the fear. and the confusion. i want to make it go away and can't. i want to know the answers and can't.

but i can focus on her strength. her stubborn nature will serve her well in this. her routine and method will leave no detail unscrutinized. her dutiful adherance to policy will help the healing process.

and her open heart will receive all the love and support she needs. and that, i can give.

d: health, wholeness and peace for my closest friend.
b: i call her 'family'.
g: twenty-three years as friends and many more to come.