seed

a couple of years ago my mom expanded her house, off the front porch. there was a huge holly bush growing against the house that had to be cut down and removed. it was dug up and the roots sprayed with a weed killer. then an eight inch concrete slab was poured on top of it.

today we noticed a six inch sprig of holly that had pushed up between the slab and the house. there isn't a visible crack there and i can't imagine any sunlight permeating the eight inches of cement, but the holly bush is there nonetheless.

i finished the Inner Game of Tennis today, sitting by the pool. the last chapter was dedicated to applying the Inner Game principles to life off the court. i can't help but think that if you haven't already seen the applications by that point in the book, it's a lost cause. i've had self one making lists of things for self two to take over ever since chapter 1. after all, self one is good at lists.

i've found though that self two is really where the power is. not just for tennis, but for all sorts of things.. things as routine as cooking, where self one wants a recipe and self two can improvise and come up with something tasty; or working out, where self one wants a prescribed regimen and self two can push me harder and more thoroughly just by feel.

and of course in my writing... my journals are written by self one. here, self two writes. generally by the end of the day i have a couple of emails sitting in my inbox from self one. they say things like, 'guillain barre. tiptoe to heel.' or 'ladders'. just a couple of key words to jog a train of thought i had when not at my keyboard. and then i sit down and scroll through the emails from myself and self two picks the one that feels right.. and that's how it works for me.

so, today when i read about getting in the 'zone' i thought about the book i'm about to write. and i realized i don't have to know the entire story right when i start chapter one. i don't have to write a chronology or an outline. i don't have to lay out the characters' life stories in order to start their story. i can simply turn the project over to self two and let it flow. duh.

self two knows what to do. it has within it all the creativity and instinct and drive of that holly bush.

d: self two, it's story-time.
b: self one is stepping out of the way.
g: a seed of an idea pushing through the concrete.