~Meret's Cat by marshall miller
i'm heading to selman street today and excited to spend the week there. how sweet it will be to spend unstructured, unplanned time with haley. her new house is fast beginning to feel like a retreat for me and being the escapist that i am, i crave places like that.
but there's a tiny niggling feeling of guilt for abandoning my kitties, jasper and stormy. these two bad boys protest my absence by wreaking havoc on the neighborhood's small rodents and birds. typically leaving evidence of their displeasure in my living room. add in a little guilt about the carnage too.
really i know they'll be ok. cats are solitary and forgiving animals and i'm not one to dote on them much anyway. so when i look closer at that niggling feeling, i find it's not related to my pets at all. it's about escaping...and coming back.
packing my things up from closet to pantry to office to kitchen cupboards to spend a week in town is the sort of thing i know will be bittersweet. i'll cherish every moment living the fantasy and i'll forget about the grass that will be growing, the dust that will accumulate, and the pets that need love. and then i'll come home and balance the indulgence with responsibility and the longing will be that much stronger to escape again.
phone calls will be inadequate.
late night visits after work will tease.
the solitude will envelop me in grey.
yet, i don't hesitate to go. my heart and mind are already there in advance of my body and belongings. they are buzzing around selman readying it for my arrival. they are nurtured by the energy of laughter and color and the aura of change.
bittersweet.
when i leave behind turquoise, i'll come home to beige. when i leave behind bouncy puppies, i'll come home to lazy cats. when i leave behind improv, i'll come home to routine. when i leave behind passion, i'll come home to family.
oh how i'll miss it.
but, now is the time for sweet! anticipating, cherishing, celebrating!
as for the kitties, i threw some bread on the ground under the bird feeders, last night. they deserve a little sweet too.
d: a week of sweet indulgence
b: i release the bitter
g: escape and return.. balance.
but there's a tiny niggling feeling of guilt for abandoning my kitties, jasper and stormy. these two bad boys protest my absence by wreaking havoc on the neighborhood's small rodents and birds. typically leaving evidence of their displeasure in my living room. add in a little guilt about the carnage too.
really i know they'll be ok. cats are solitary and forgiving animals and i'm not one to dote on them much anyway. so when i look closer at that niggling feeling, i find it's not related to my pets at all. it's about escaping...and coming back.
packing my things up from closet to pantry to office to kitchen cupboards to spend a week in town is the sort of thing i know will be bittersweet. i'll cherish every moment living the fantasy and i'll forget about the grass that will be growing, the dust that will accumulate, and the pets that need love. and then i'll come home and balance the indulgence with responsibility and the longing will be that much stronger to escape again.
phone calls will be inadequate.
late night visits after work will tease.
the solitude will envelop me in grey.
yet, i don't hesitate to go. my heart and mind are already there in advance of my body and belongings. they are buzzing around selman readying it for my arrival. they are nurtured by the energy of laughter and color and the aura of change.
bittersweet.
when i leave behind turquoise, i'll come home to beige. when i leave behind bouncy puppies, i'll come home to lazy cats. when i leave behind improv, i'll come home to routine. when i leave behind passion, i'll come home to family.
oh how i'll miss it.
but, now is the time for sweet! anticipating, cherishing, celebrating!
as for the kitties, i threw some bread on the ground under the bird feeders, last night. they deserve a little sweet too.
d: a week of sweet indulgence
b: i release the bitter
g: escape and return.. balance.
promise i didn't read this one until after my poor stormy/jasper comment...
ReplyDeletecongrats on balance