curtains

when i was in college i went on a three week wilderness trip, 'discovery' they called it. there were 14 of us in my group. really too many for a good small group dynamic, but not quite enough to be split into two groups. at any rate, before we left we all weighed our backpacks for bragging rights. those went both directions, by the way - lightest and heaviest. most of our packs were right around 50 lbs, which was heavy enough thank you very much.

but chris' pack weighed in at 65 lbs. we said, 'what the hell do you have in there?!' and he just laughed at our ridicule and said something about clothes. three weeks in the wilderness. no showers. only creeks to bathe in. and 13 of us wore the same two or three things for all 21 days. but chris wore a clean shirt, socks and underwear every day. he was teased mercilessly, but truth be told, we were all a little jealous. ok, maybe a lot jealous. his reply was always, 'all that matters is that you look guuuuud.'

note: for the full effect, you have to try to imagine his dialect. good was about 3 seconds long. the emphasis in the sentence falling heavily on that word.

me: 'we've hiked how far in the wrong direction?! are you kidding me?'
chris: 'all that matters is that you look good'

me: 'all we have to eat tonight is potatoes? are you kidding me?'
chris: 'all that matters is that you look good'

me: 'we're sleeping on this rocky shore tonight? are you kidding me?'
chris: 'all that matters is that you look good'

eventually we all joined in his mantra. humor in the face of adversity is a good strategy, we learned. although, when the rest of us said it we were cringing at the irony of our own filth and when chris said it he was gloating in his perfectly matched, impeccably clean, and downy-smelling clean clothes.

i didn't discover as much as i'd hoped on my discovery trip. i spent most of the time wishing i were somewhere else, rather than appreciating the opportunity. however, in the theater of my life, i did take one lesson away: costumes do matter.

it was a few years ago that i really got the bug though, the shopping and costuming bug. i've always liked to create scenes in my life. i don't mean in a dramatic, throw a hissy fit type of way. but scenes that i can store as memories, visual memories. and one time on a photo shoot for work, i really fell in love with the magic of pulling wardrobes together in a spontaneous and creative way. i was suddenly jealous of the wardrobe girl. my own closet hasn't been the same since.

wardrobe is an integral part of my theater. one week at work i was so displeased with the situation, that i intentionally put together 5 all-black outfits as a personal statement. i'm sure nobody noticed, but i knew.

today i went to the mall to purchase the missing item i searched high and low for last night. i had the perfect outfit in mind and just one little thing was missing. should be easy in, easy out. i knew right where it was in the store. but it didn't quite go like that.

yes, that item was there. yes, i bought it. but, i passed all these other delicious things on the way.. and then next thing you know the scene i had played in my head was being rewritten in blues, rather than sequins. and soft, rather than satin. and then my hair was going to be different. and my makeup was going to be different. and everything about the night i was shopping for would have to be different. and was that really the costume i wanted to wear? and the character i wanted to play?

and then i heard chris in my head, 'all that matters is that you look guuuud.'

now i'm waiting for the curtains to open. hair: check. makeup: check. costume: check.

d: music. the right music. that's still missing.
b: free gift with purchase!
g: a discovery on discovery that wasn't in the brochure.