ink

about five or six years ago my company had this big picnic on the lawn. it was before we'd divested the other brands, so there were a lot of people there. a couple hundred maybe? they hired an event planner to throw this picnic for us and it had all sorts of games and activities, sort of like a fair.

the most interesting thing, in fact the only thing i remember distinctly at all, about the event was that there were 3 psychics brought in to read our cards or palms or the psychic-for-dummies book under the table.

i'd never been to a psychic before, but was one of the first in line because i'm a believer and hey, it was free. and of course, just one wasn't enough. i worked my way down the row of tents to all three. the first two that i met were very generic.. saying basically the same thing to every person from what we could tell and asking lots of probing questions to hit on some nugget of truth.

and then i sat down with a girl who clearly had a gift. she didn't ask me any more than my name and to choose my cards. and then she started talking about me. and said things nobody else there knew about me and what was going on in my life.

at the time, i was working my way through a little custody issue and unsure of what my next step should be. i was told by this intuitive that many people were going to come to my defense in a legal matter and that it would all resolve in my favor. that was all true.

there were a number of other things she said that resonated true and came to pass. i asked her for her name and number, but she couldn't give them out. some contract stipulation with the event planner.

i've been on a fruitless quest for another true psychic since then...but it doesn't change my opinion on that experience or hope for another of its kind.

this story comes to mind because i've asked some people to vouch for me again regarding my job situation. a couple of them offered on their own and some of them i tentatively asked. all have been generously willing and it's touched and validated me and given me hope.

and then in the ping-pong table of my mind, my search for another intuitive with a clear vision also reminds me of love. i have a friend who said to me once 'jess, in the story of your life, love is the ink that never dries.'

my past loves have paralleled my psychic-for-dummies experiences.. well intentioned, but off-the-mark.. appearances of connection, but unable to go deep...fun and entertaining, but nothing to hold on to when the curtain swings shut..

but a hope for the real thing running through.. a promise to be fulfilled, in an ink that's drying as we speak.

d: the real thing
b: five people are writing me recommendations for the new role i'm claiming! (and maybe a 6th)
g: red doors, honeysuckle on the fence, and turtlehenge under moonlight.