Just because she said it, doesn't make it true.
~jeanne miller
~jeanne miller
i was first told this by my mom during a teary phone call, after a fight with my girlfriend. it ranks right up there as one of the most quotable and impactful things my mom ever said to me. it went hand in hand with the best answer to any insult, criticism or disagreement ever: 'you might be right.'
(or might not be.)
words have so much power - power to heal, power to inflict pain; power to inspire, power to discourage; power to uplift, power to degrade; power to love, power to reject; power to encourage, power to delay; power to comfort, power to abandon...
and yet, i know they have only as much power as i give them. they are only letters strung together, words strung together, sentences strung together until i apply meaning and believe it.
i find it so easy to get caught up on the issue of literal word choice. the backspace button is my favorite on the keyboard and i only write in pencil, so that i can easily erase. what i lack in punctuation, i apply to my obsession with finding the perfect wording.
and that works fine for writing, but the filter is less discriminating in conversation. in fact, i'll admit i don't have much of a filter. i find myself drawn to others with the same candor and rawness because it's something i admire and appreciate. but this has put me on the phone with mom in tears over others' words, more times than i can count. and the refrain has always been the same.
just because they said it, doesn't make it true.
and then somewhere between semantics and shrug, i learned compassion. i learned that the intention is more important than the words. i learned that pain inflicted usually means pain felt. i learned that words spoken in love will be received in love. i learned that speaking my truth is always the right thing to do, even if my truth is wrong.
and i've learned that when i hear 'you might be right' it really means i'm probably not.
d: to teach this to my boys
b: hurtful words are powerless over me. i choose that.
g: my mom
(or might not be.)
words have so much power - power to heal, power to inflict pain; power to inspire, power to discourage; power to uplift, power to degrade; power to love, power to reject; power to encourage, power to delay; power to comfort, power to abandon...
and yet, i know they have only as much power as i give them. they are only letters strung together, words strung together, sentences strung together until i apply meaning and believe it.
i find it so easy to get caught up on the issue of literal word choice. the backspace button is my favorite on the keyboard and i only write in pencil, so that i can easily erase. what i lack in punctuation, i apply to my obsession with finding the perfect wording.
and that works fine for writing, but the filter is less discriminating in conversation. in fact, i'll admit i don't have much of a filter. i find myself drawn to others with the same candor and rawness because it's something i admire and appreciate. but this has put me on the phone with mom in tears over others' words, more times than i can count. and the refrain has always been the same.
just because they said it, doesn't make it true.
and then somewhere between semantics and shrug, i learned compassion. i learned that the intention is more important than the words. i learned that pain inflicted usually means pain felt. i learned that words spoken in love will be received in love. i learned that speaking my truth is always the right thing to do, even if my truth is wrong.
and i've learned that when i hear 'you might be right' it really means i'm probably not.
d: to teach this to my boys
b: hurtful words are powerless over me. i choose that.
g: my mom
That's the best mother's day present ever! I love you. (perfect words with honest intent)Momma
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's day. What a sweet entry.
ReplyDeletePowerful advice. As mothers of teens, we probably have cause to teach this to our children sooner than later. A belated Happy Mother's Day.
ReplyDelete