light

silly [sil ee] adjective
1. weak-minded or lacking good sense; stupid or foolish
2. absurd; ridiculous; irrational
3. stunned; dazed
(Random House Dictionary, 2009)

'silly goose'

somehow i can't imagine my dad meaning any of the Random House definitions when he called me that as a child.

'silly willy'

though definitely ridiculous at moments, the times i call todd and luke that, i mean something far less critical.

'silly head'

and now haley is calling me this on a fairly regular basis.. and i certainly hope she isn't secretly thinking, 'dumbass'.

i would hereby like to formally object to these dictionary definitions of one of the best emotional states i've experienced sober. it's perfectly harmless, entirely fun, and feels amazing.

how that can be considered weak-minded or foolish, i have no idea. perhaps that's a sign i'm just too silly to understand. *shrug* if so, i'll risk it.

lately i've been feeling particularly silly. talking in funny voices, being my most off-the-wall self, and receiving an above average daily dosage of eye rollings from the boys. a sign that i'm truly hitting the silly threshold high and hard. after all, if i'm silly to ten and twelve year olds, that's pretty damn silly.

and so, today, i stopped to wonder why i'm suddenly so silly and since it's so great, why i'm not always.. and i totally attribute it to weight. not my weight, per se, although that can factor in when i get obsessed over the scale..

no, i digress, i mean the weight of my mind. the weight of my heart. the weight on the other end of the ropes, pulling and tugging at me in a million directions.

today i am light. today and yesterday and for a number of days now... and i must say, i do love the light.

night light.
light at the end of the tunnel.
lite-brite.

star light, star bright, first star i see tonight. i wish i may, i wish i might, have the wish i wish tonight.

d: (ie. wish) silly epidemic
b: i am light.
g: weight lifted!