precipice

i keep finding myself in a pattern of having to write two blogs in a day to catch up and i can't figure out what that's about. there have been times over the past few months of blogging where i was so overwhelmed with ideas that i was writing several a day, even holding some for the future. but today that's not the case.

overwhelmed, yes.
with ideas, no.

i'm not much of a list maker. though i do like the satisfaction of crossing things off, i rarely take the time to write them out. but the past couple of days i've been writing lists. writing lists and then turning a page and writing a new one.

and crossing nothing off.

and i think i probably should. either in completion or deletion. but instead i'm getting behind on my blogging, making little progress on my book, and only tentative progress on anything else either.

paralyzed on the precipice of change, i'm afraid that one wrong step and the whole thing will come crumbling down. everything feels so right, so perfect, so what i asked for; and yet i'm holding my breath, afraid to exhale.

what if a dream come true is more like a cloud? once attention is paid to it, it simply disappears into thin air?

what if?

d: firm footing at the precipice
b: i have a dream..
g: ..come true.